what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
