I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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