i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
