The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
