SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
