I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
