how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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