I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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