So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
