dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
