There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
i now understand why vodka
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize