i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
