They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
