It's Friday. Sex?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
