why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
