My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She said her name was "party"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
