At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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