So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
