Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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