I love black thongs
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Panties = found
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
