I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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