She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
