In the future we'll all be gay
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
