why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
