Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
