when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
