the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
How external is "for external use only"?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
