So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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