"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
