Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
