So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
