We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
