Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
