best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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