she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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