Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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