Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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