you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
