Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize