just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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