i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize