I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
