Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
