I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
