i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
