It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
