but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
