well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize