dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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