what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
