You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize