don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
