Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just puked most of my soul out..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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