Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
