Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
