these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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