Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
