Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
How's work?
Spinning.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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