I want to stick my p in your. b.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
