You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
