i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
