my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
