i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
