I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
