It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
