Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
