never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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